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16 October 2012 @ 03:14 pm
Still Trying to Cope  
I want to write up something beautiful and grand, but it hurts my heart so much that I just...

Nothing is adequate.

The level of loss to my heart is not something I can explain.

The words are ash.

Early Monday morning, around 3:30 in the morning, I lost my oldest. Vixen Sionnach was 11 and the very first pup that was ever mine. I can't have kids; there's not even the possibility. But this one...

I just can't explain how much she meant to me and my life as a whole.

She was a stray when she wandered into my life and she was my sweet, wonderful, fascinating daughter when she slipped away like the lady she was.

She'll always be with me, but I just need time to heal for the hole left behind.
On the Verge of: numbnumb
Tamannaswingandswirl on October 16th, 2012 07:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, honey.


I am so very sorry for your loss.
Lois: LS-Verse :: Lois Jason :: Never Doubt Lokalalanekent on October 19th, 2012 07:36 am (UTC)
*happily takes them all* I'm still trying to get used to the fact that she's not here anymore. We've been trying to separate out all of her medical stuff versus the stuff we want to keep and it's just been...

✰ ❝elliαniα❞ ĸatrine: ϟ ❝hp❞ i wish i were deadelliania on October 16th, 2012 07:52 pm (UTC)
Lois... *HUGS* I'm so sorry for your loss. This pains me so much!

Lois: Clois :: Film Grain Lovekalalanekent on October 19th, 2012 07:38 am (UTC)
Thanks, love. It's just... You never realize just how much of your heart they take up until you truly have to face the fact that they won't be there any longer. *hugs back tight*
Loony Loopy Lea Lovegood: Anne | HUGSchickadilly on October 16th, 2012 10:42 pm (UTC)
I am so so sorry, Lois. <3 <3 <3
Lois: LS-Verse :: Lois Jason :: Never Doubt Lokalalanekent on October 19th, 2012 07:39 am (UTC)
Thanks, Lea. It's just going to take time. I just have to get used to her not being here any longer. At home, it just feels like there's a big hole in our lives without her.
routhfan1routhfan1 on October 17th, 2012 01:34 am (UTC)
I am sorry for your loss. It is so hard when a pet passes whom you are so bonded with. I don't think there is much anyone can say to make you feel any better. I think it is something that is going to take time for you to go through the grieving process. Again, I am so sorry.
Lois: Clois :: Film Grain Lovekalalanekent on October 20th, 2012 07:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you, dear. It really has been a day at a time. I start to feel like maybe it's getting easier, then I find something of herse again and...

Yeah. It's just going to take some time. The most important part is that she's so much better and more well. It's truly better this way. I'm the one that's having to cope.

(Deleted comment)
Lois: Clois :: Beside Youkalalanekent on October 20th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC)
Millions of hugs back, bb. Thank you. I know you know how I feel about this. *snugs*