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26 April 2007 @ 01:29 pm
Stupid Conscience...  
Okay, so it's been a long week and there is nothing I want more today than to sleep late and see my family as planned, have been waiting since Sunday for this, when Lynne approachs me last night to ask if I could go backburner for today if Joe couldn't come in. Seems that another coworker was scheduled to run Customer Service, but Thursday at her other job make it impossible and now we have no one to work it. Could I come in for her if Joe can't? 

I hesitate for a moment, hating myself for even thinking about it, but feel bad enough about our being short that I say 'Yes'. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem working a shift if we need help. I'll work all the hours they give me and then some. All I ask is that Saturday is never a work day and that I get out shortly after twelve (Anissa picks me up from work when she gets out). It's just that I'm getting desperately in need of a break.

Well, Joe is burning out with the amount of hours he's been working lately, but he'll usually come in. He says he's going to call the ex and see if it's okay that he get his son a little later. I think: Okay, it'll all work out. Thank God, since it's only 6:00 pm and my eyes are trying to close. This doesn't bode well.

In the next hour, I make the mistake of asking for a restroom break, only to be pulled in to do a bridal packaging, run register at Customer Service, go out and do freight, run register again, three more bridal packs, then Lynne catches me. The Ex told Joe "absolutely not" and she needs me. Can I call Anissa and see if it's okay that I work? Which means, I work today instead of Sunday, which is good, but I'm going to work six days straight this week (since I work Friday, too) and have to work Hard Side alone on a Thursday night. Which is busy. And we have a decent amount of freight today, I'm sure.  Great

I'm such an idiot. And it doesn't help that we both took a powder last night and slept instead of writing. And I have to go out essentials shopping after work? Geeez! Looks like another Marathon Run...

*smacks self in the head* Idiot.
 
 
Latitude and Longitude: The Usual Spot, Hating Myself
On the Verge of: irateAnnoyed
Beautiful Noise: My Teeth Grinding
 
 
 
sean_montgomery: Spam-a-lot twinsean_montgomery on April 27th, 2007 12:51 am (UTC)
*stops you from smacking yourself* You're not an idiot, hon. You sound exactly like me, actually (which makes sense, of course, because we ARE twins). I'm exactly the same way when asked by co-workers and people like that about working their hours or staying late. It's just the servant's heart in you. Yes, it hurts and sometimes kills you when you have to work for so long... but, even though you sometimes can't feel the reward of it right away, you know you've done the right thing. I know I'm preaching to the choir here - I feel overworked and under payed right now, but I know that doing the little things, like staying an hour later today, will benefit me in the long run. I just can't see it right now.

And, like I've told you a million times, don't worry if you miss a night writing. If you need a small break, give yourself one. I'm just now starting to feel ready to start working on chapter twenty. Don't overwork yourself. I don't want 'smacking you in the head for myself' to be the driving reason behind me going to see you. ; )

*hugs you tightly* Don't push yourself too much, friend. And don't call yourself an idiot. You've got a gift few have, and it's a blessing - even if it feels burdensome.