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04 February 2011 @ 03:58 pm
I Just Died A Little. THIS Is Why I Will Always Love Clois. Always.  

I don’t get it. I’ve lost all focus. All clarity. I’m in the middle of something important, and I’ve lost all ability to concentrate. Thinking about Ryder. My demotion. My life. Thinking about Lana. Everything she said. And because I’ve lost focus, I almost don’t hear her

The one who means more to me than any of it. The one who means more to me than all the men dying in this war — a war that stopped just by my arriving here — and I neither notice nor care.

She doesn’t die. But waiting for that moment… I nearly do. I can’t think of anything except how relieved I am. How happy I feel knowing she’s still with me. How little it matter that what made her fall in love with me. I — Love her, and always have

Have I brought these things on her? […] Am I helping people?. Protecting them from the evil in the world?. Are bad people the problem?. Or am I?.

How much of this violence exist solely because I exist? 

I used to save people from danger. Now I put them in it, simply by being who I am. Like the gunslinger who once helped — then became a magnet for trouble. A part of the problem. 

And I’ve been so light and flip about it. Enjoying myself. My Strength. My powers. Am I wrong?. Am I making a mistake? I don’t know.

As I watch her sleep — studying her lungs as they breathe, watching her blood flow, listening to her heart pump loud and strong — I hope I’m not. Because I love who I am, what I can do.

I love being Superman.

I love being Superman for her.

Clark Kent - Action Comics 821.
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On the Verge of: enthralledenthralled