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14 June 2010 @ 05:06 pm
Stupid Mondays  
Ever had a morning when you get up and nothing you do seems right, nothing you've written in the last year looks right, it's too damn hot, you want to cry, and you feel like you're totally boring and you don't know why your friends bother with you when all of write in your LJ is gloom and doom? And you don't even do that well, not to mention your fic writing? 

Only useful thing I'm doing today is noms, some of which make me nervous.

Blech. I need to defriend myself.

Also, due to the fact that this last chapter had issues now that I look bck on it, Anissa and I are talking about taking a week's break to get The Pond finished, our 12days_of_clois  fic finished, and get some serious plotting worked out. I'm scared to death that the end of Heirs isn't going to be up to par and that's the last thing I want. After the way that LS ended, I really don't want to see this boring the hell out of you guys.

I think June is getting to me. I've never been so glad that vacation is soon. *lets out slow sigh of relief*

Sorry I have a case of the whiny bitch lately. :(
On the Verge of: moodymoody
Beautiful Noise: Lauren Christy-I Walk This Earth Alone
ColtDancer: angstcoltdancer on June 14th, 2010 09:13 pm (UTC)

No no no....big hugs, big hugs! I may speak out of turn, but I think most of us have experienced similar moments, days, months....you name it. Where it's really not as bad as it would seem, but when you put it all together or one ridiculous thing pops out of nowhere, it can be so surprisingly overwhelming - that innate need to just...cry. It's like some kind of bubble that's blowing up bigger and bigger and you feel like you're going to suffocate from the inside out sort of overwhelming...

It's okay, darlin! This is what we're here for!

Big, big, schmoopy big hugs to you...and feel better, whatever you need to do!
Lois: LS :: Lois Jason :: Never Doubt Lovekalalanekent on June 15th, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC)
Looking back at writing this yesterday, I feel bad for having brought it up, but it really was an AWFUL day. It's following a bit today, still feeling out-of-sorts, but I'm trying to push past it. The only good thing? I found a pretty good inspiration for my 12 Days fic. I guess summer really brings this out in me.

Big, big hugs back. Sounds like you've had an experience or two with it recently, too. Thanks, Angie. Reading this did make me feel a lot better, even if I am a little embarrassed for the fact that I splashed this all over my LJ. ♥
saavikam77: Clois Hugsaavikam77 on June 14th, 2010 09:41 pm (UTC)
*snugs you tight*

I'm having about the same kind of day, but with RL crap thrown in. I just want to lie here and do nothing, and I feel like an utter waste of space for it. Then I try to work on my noms, and I want to smack myself for having to narrow down my faves, and still wanting certain of my fics to get nommed and win. I feel like this whole fandom thing has been such a waste of my time, b/c look where it's gotten me? Nowhere. And I'm gonna have to drop several challenges b/c the writing just isn't there, and you know how THAT makes me feel. :/


Of course I think you're being too hard on yourself, though, b/c Heirs is rocking. You know I love ya', hon!

*more snugs*

I call do-over!
Lois: LS :: Lois Jason :: Never Doubt Lovekalalanekent on June 15th, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, no, trust me. RL is TOTALLY wrapped up in this. The water pump in the car is busted, I'm scared to death that the vacation money will be eaten up by that, and there's no way I can't take this trip. It's been nine months since the last absence of over three days and it's starting to show. No one at my job wants to be there and it shows in how we all behave with each other. I think it's just all of this building up that's crushing me.

It's getting to the point that I'm not even spelling right. *headdesk*

And I disagree with fandom being a waste of time. Since when? Ella, you push yourself too hard. And I don't know about you, but it's the journey that's been fun. The friends and fans we've found along the way. Just take a deep breath and step away if you have to. It'll be okay. Promise. *snugs*

And I call do-over, too! Yesterday was just awful.
saavikam77: Clois Hugsaavikam77 on June 15th, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC)
Gah, I hear you on the money stuff. We can't seem to ever take a vacation b/c we can't afford to kennel Vulcan, and no one is brave enough to give him his insulin for us. :/ And I need to get out of here for a few days like WHOA. (yay, cabin fever)

*shuffles feet*

Even with all the awesome friends I've made, and the good times that have been had along the way, I can't help feeling like it's all just another way for me to run away from RL. Like if I keep pushing myself, I'll finally figure all this crap out. *clings*

This summer is just sucking.
Lois: Heirs :: Lois :: Should Let Gokalalanekent on June 16th, 2010 05:23 pm (UTC)
Even with all the awesome friends I've made, and the good times that have been had along the way, I can't help feeling like it's all just another way for me to run away from RL. Like if I keep pushing myself, I'll finally figure all this crap out. *clings*

I have a lot of RL crap to deal with, but I've been in fandom for a large majority of my life. This is my happy place. This is where I come when I can't handle it anymore. I guess I can't relate on that front because I actually spend too much time in RL and dealing with mess I don't even go into on LJ. I HAVE to have fandom because it's what usually restores my faith that maybe everything in RL doesn't suck. And I thank Whoever's Up There every day for both fandom and you guys. I need you guys to be there to remind me that there's more to life than stress, negativity, and pain. I need this.

Edited at 2010-06-16 05:24 pm (UTC)
saavikam77: Clois Hugsaavikam77 on June 16th, 2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
I totally get you. I guess my problem is the exact opposite, and an unfair advantage and all that other stuff. *facepalm*

*snugs you tight*
Lois: Lois :: Lovekalalanekent on June 17th, 2010 04:26 am (UTC)
I guess you're right. I think the main thing I'm trying to say to you here is that you, darling, are a major part of that sunshine that fandom is for me these days. You guys are part of the reason that I get up in the morning, stumble to the computer, and write. Honestly, the vast majority of what I try to do in fandom, I do to make you guys interested and try to do my part to keep things alive.

I'm sorry if that came across the wrong way. It may have stemmed from being worried about losing you. I ♥ you, bb. I didn't mean that to hurt you.

*snuggles you tight and covers you in kisses*
saavikam77: Lois Aha!saavikam77 on June 17th, 2010 05:04 am (UTC)
Oh, hon! Here I was thinking that everything *I* was saying was coming out wrong. I never meant to imply that the community we've built here and all the friends I've made have been an all-around waste, b/c it's certainly not! I do get a lot of reward out of it; I was just starting to feel like the kid that got into the cookie jar, and ate the whole batch and then some, with no regard for dinner. O_O I just need to find a little bit better balance, especially since I stopped going to the yarn shop.

And you're never gonna lose me, hon. You couldn't get rid of me now if you tried! ^_~

*snuggles tight and kisses back* ^____^ I'm feeling a lot better about things this evening. Funny what a little exercise and a few glasses of water will do. XD I hope you'll get to feeling better soon, too. *more snugs*

And wouldn't you know it, a Superman marathon has been on all evening on AMC. Now into the third act of SR. I needed a good refresher, I think. :p
(Deleted comment)
Lois: Lois :: Lovekalalanekent on June 15th, 2010 04:45 pm (UTC)
Re: give yourself a cheesy moment
I haven't heard that in a bit. That definitely brought a smile out. :D Thanks, love!
athenesolon: Lois and Kal-El Hugathenesolon on June 14th, 2010 11:05 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I HATE those kinds of days. And I agree with Saavi above, love Heirs so much so at least to me it was good.
Lois: Clois :: Hold On To Mekalalanekent on June 15th, 2010 04:50 pm (UTC)
Me, too. It seems to happen more in summer and especially around this month. Things always get tighter hours-wise at my job, attitudes gets worse, and the squabbling starts. Which means you can't avoid it.

Summer is the hardest time of year for me, but I seem more hit or miss than usual this year. Hopefully the vacation will help.