Lois (kalalanekent) wrote,

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Because My Heart Just Can't Forget This Morning

Nana, there is not enough space here on this page to go into exactly made you special and why you meant so much to my life. I was your fellow December baby, one week apart, and you called me your Christmas present. You are the reason I smell certain perfumes and smile, why I see a snowy head in the crowd and catch my breath to remember, why I cry every time I watch Anastasia, why I seek out Angela Lansbury film when I'm down, why I've seen every episode of Golden Girls, why I am the person I am today. I was a thoughtless teenager when I lost you and now all I wish I had was more time. You deserved far more time with us that you were given. There is not a moment in my life where your love doesn't color my experience. I miss you in ways I can't even express.

I've tried in some small way to try to recapture you in Ella Lane, tried to show how one woman can mean so much to one family and the void it leaves when she's suddenly taken from them. I'm not even sure if I've done you justice. I worry that I haven't. There are people out there, Nana, people who never met you that see you in a character that they know and they love you. In some small way, I can keep a part of you alive that way. I wish so much that you could have been when us when I started this project. To see that I finally did it, did something with my love of the superhero. To hear me go on for hours about finally meeting Margot Kidder. There is such much I wish you could have seen. I'd like to think I've done you proud. How I wish I could hear it because there's never a day I don't need you with me.

Once Upon A December, Nana. It will always be Once Upon A December. We will meet again one and I can't wait until that time.
Tags: nana

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