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12 March 2010 @ 11:40 am
Because My Heart Just Can't Forget This Morning  

Nana, there is not enough space here on this page to go into exactly made you special and why you meant so much to my life. I was your fellow December baby, one week apart, and you called me your Christmas present. You are the reason I smell certain perfumes and smile, why I see a snowy head in the crowd and catch my breath to remember, why I cry every time I watch Anastasia, why I seek out Angela Lansbury film when I'm down, why I've seen every episode of Golden Girls, why I am the person I am today. I was a thoughtless teenager when I lost you and now all I wish I had was more time. You deserved far more time with us that you were given. There is not a moment in my life where your love doesn't color my experience. I miss you in ways I can't even express.

I've tried in some small way to try to recapture you in Ella Lane, tried to show how one woman can mean so much to one family and the void it leaves when she's suddenly taken from them. I'm not even sure if I've done you justice. I worry that I haven't. There are people out there, Nana, people who never met you that see you in a character that they know and they love you. In some small way, I can keep a part of you alive that way. I wish so much that you could have been when us when I started this project. To see that I finally did it, did something with my love of the superhero. To hear me go on for hours about finally meeting Margot Kidder. There is such much I wish you could have seen. I'd like to think I've done you proud. How I wish I could hear it because there's never a day I don't need you with me.

Once Upon A December, Nana. It will always be Once Upon A December. We will meet again one and I can't wait until that time.
On the Verge of: nostalgicnostalgic
Beautiful Noise: Leanne Womick-Once Upon A December
winddancer55945: Boston Kisseswinddancer55945 on March 12th, 2010 05:24 pm (UTC)
Grandmothers are such special people. They will always be missed when they leave us.
Lois: LS :: Elinore Lanekalalanekent on March 12th, 2010 05:50 pm (UTC)
Since I have no Nana icon, Ella will have to do.

I really can't tell anyone what she was to me. She really was my inspiration so much as a child. She really was the most extraordinary person. *hugs back*
Ferd: bale- sulkingferdalump on March 12th, 2010 07:24 pm (UTC)
Awww, I can understand. I was raised by my grandma and the bond there is such a special one. It's so great your grandma inspires you so much, even in your writing.

I'm sorry she had to leave us all so soon.

Lois: LS :: Lois Jason :: Never Doubt Lovekalalanekent on March 14th, 2010 12:40 am (UTC)
Thanks, love. Even this far out since it happened, it really gets to me. *hugs*
sean_montgomery: Spam-a-lot twinsean_montgomery on March 12th, 2010 07:40 pm (UTC)
*snuggles and huggles*

Just don't forget, Twin - she's more than likely become friends with my grandma and they both sit high above... and plot our demise. XD Or at least share a bottle of wine and watch us along the way. Lots of love to you today. :)
Lois: Lois + Abby :: Twinkalalanekent on March 14th, 2010 12:44 am (UTC)
I'd definitely like to think that she's hanging out and watching her oldest grandchild's adventures. And she'd let your grandma have most of it. I think I only saw her drink a beer once every few months when my grandfather was up for a visit (they were separated for about 20 years).

Love you, too!
saavikam77: Sam/Dean Hug 2saavikam77 on March 12th, 2010 08:47 pm (UTC)
Oh, hon. *hugs tight*
Lois: LS :: Lois Jason :: Never Doubt Lovekalalanekent on March 14th, 2010 12:44 am (UTC)
*hugs you back just as tight*
✰ ❝elliαniα❞ ĸatrineelliania on March 12th, 2010 08:48 pm (UTC)
aw. *huggles*
your Ella Lane was awesome, you did a great job. I'm sure she's very proud.
Lois: LS :: Lois Jason :: Never Doubt Lovekalalanekent on March 14th, 2010 12:46 am (UTC)
I really hope she would be. Ella is the closest I'll ever get to the awesome she was. And some of those discussion really were based on real events that happened to either my mother of I.
(Deleted comment)
Lois: Lois :: Lovekalalanekent on March 14th, 2010 12:46 am (UTC)
the_scary_kitty: Hug Stitch!the_scary_kitty on March 14th, 2010 03:19 am (UTC)
Oh, sweetie... I just lost my grandma not too long ago, so I'm right there with you. *huggles you tight*
Lois: LS :: Lois Jason :: Never Doubt Lovekalalanekent on March 15th, 2010 05:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, sweetheart! *huggles you back just as tight* It's never easy. Especially if you're close.