Lois (kalalanekent) wrote,

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There Are Reasons Why I Don't Read A Lot of Potter Fic. These Are Two.

Ever read bad!fic that was such bad!fic, it keeps you up at night? Thanks to the awesomeness that is babb_chronicles, I will be seeing these two guys in my dreams for years to come*.

My real name isn’t just Isabella Marie Swan, but Isabella Marie Potter Summers Swan Turner. I am actually seventeen and will forever be seventeen unless I wish to grow. My mother is Elizabeth Swan and my father is William Turner. I have two older siblings, Harry James Potter Summer Swan Turner and Buffy Potter Summers Swan Turner. We are triplets.

Hogwarts watched the giant squid approach and felt apprehension well up in his kitchen. “What are you doing?” The words weren’t spoken, but they were understood.
“Just trust me,” the giant squid replied, caressing Hogwarts’ outerwalls.
“I’m not ready!” Hogwarts exclaimed, trying to push the giant squid away with his magic.
“Hogwarts, you’re lonely, I’m lonely. We don’t have to be. Besides, you can’t go around manipulating your staircases.”

*don't read unless you can afford the therapy bill. I honestly can barely afford my own.

Tags: omgwtf?!

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